I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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