I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize