quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
