this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they need to just BURY HIM!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
