Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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