He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
