You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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