Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
