i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
