Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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