i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
