when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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