Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My cat gives me a boner
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize