please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All the doctor said was why
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