It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
