Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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