If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
