If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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