you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
