Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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