My cat gives me a boner
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
