Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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