Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
