he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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