Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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