Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
