he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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