so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
