Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize