They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
