Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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