Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What a dumb baby whore.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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