we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
