i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I die, sorry about rent.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize