he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I could fuck to npr.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
