I wanna passion pit in your ass
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize