I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize