We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
