is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
