If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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