I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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