You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
