The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize