Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
