Kiss
Puke
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
