I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
