mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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