Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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