I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize