Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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