Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
