y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
