This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
