was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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