Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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