would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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