Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
