can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
