id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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